Unexpected Sanctuary
by lovesmesomebooth
Summary: A different take on the ending of Harry Potter. The memories of Severus Snape bring Harry through the end of the war. Harry gets an unexpected surprise when he finally finds some time to think.


'Look. At. Me.'

Those last words rang through his head long after he left the office and the castle proper. He knew what he had to do, but a part of him couldn't release the hold the words had taken. They were a mantra that sounded with every footstep toward the Forbidden Forest. He was lucky for all that he now knew. It gave him something to concentrate on rather than the fate that awaited him; the death. Thinking of that made him remember the snitch in his pocket. Death. The End. The Close. It all made sense now. He fumbled through his shirt to reach the pouch hidden beneath and pulled out the snitch. He brought it to his lips and with a light breath, he whispered, "I am about to die." The snitch opened and Harry could see a small stone set inside. With some sense he didn't know he had, he knew it was the Resurrection Stone. He paused for a moment. If he turned it thrice in hand, who would he see? Snape was at the forefront of his mind and try as he might, Harry couldn't stop thinking of him. He knew in his heart he wanted to see his parents. He wanted to see Sirius; and Lupin. The man just had a son and had died before he could properly know him. But there were so many questions he had about Snape. Would he appear as well? Would any of them show? Before he knew what was happening, the stone stopped moving and white, ghostly apparitions appeared all around him.

"My brave boy." Harry blinked a few times to ensure he was actually looking at the image of his mother. She was smiling warmly and he could almost feel her love run through him. He let a smile grace his lips as he looked around him. It was as he expected, though he still thought Snape would have showed. He kept the man at the back of his mind as he spoke his last words to the people that always meant the world to him. He relished their presence as he made his way through to Forbidden Forest and welcomed the dark green spell as it shot straight toward him.

He opened his eyes and saw nothing but white. It was an absurd notion for there to be no color anywhere. He blinked repeatedly to ensure it wasn't a fluke. Slowly, shapes began to form all around him as his awareness came to. He was laying down on something quite solid and there was a fuzziness above him that formed into a high ceiling. He sat up and watched the room become structured, but he wasn't familiar with the surroundings. He made to stand and heard a small noise behind him. It took him a moment to gather his balance, but he slowly started to make his way toward it. The sound could have been heart-crushing, but for some reason it repulsed him. As he neared, he found the shape of a bench forming and a small, deranged form of something beneath it.

"There is nothing you can do for that anymore, Harry." Harry hadn't been sure before if he had a heartbeat, but at the sound of that voice, he felt something in his chest flutter quickly and his breath hitched. He couldn't bear to turn around.

"Snape?" His voice was lower than a whisper, but it carried through the silence at a deafening decibel. He stood stock still.

"Ever the observant one, aren't we?" Harry jumped as a hand landed on his shoulder and turned him around. Before him stood not the man he knew as his Potions Professor, but someone much younger and with many less harsh lines on his face. He was almost handsome. Without realizing it, a lone tear slid down Harry's face, halting at his cheek by a long, slender finger.

"I never wanted you to die." He felt embarrassed for the six years of harsh words he ever spoke against the man, but oddly not for the man seeing him cry.

"I know you didn't, but there was nothing left for me to do there." Harry shook his head.

"How can you say that? When Voldemort is gone, you will be free." At the mention of the name, the creature under the bench let out a sickening moan. Snape pulled his arm over Harry's shoulder and guided him to walk away from the bench and the being that lay beneath.

"I did everything I could ever do. There would never be a moment of peace for me. I would forever be marked as a Death Eater."

"You wouldn't! I know the truth, I could convince them all of your truth." He felt like stamping his foot and screaming.

"Harry, you knowing the truth allowed me to die in peace. There was nothing left for me." Tears continued to run down Harry's cheeks.

"I don't believe that. I wouldn't let that happen to you." Harry slumped into an oversized chair that materialized beside him. Snape knelt in front of him.

"Even as powerful as you and your word could be, it would make little difference to most. They all have their preconceived notions, and though they would act their part; well a Hippogriff does not change its feathers." Harry raised his eyes to meet Snape's.

"Couldn't you have done anything?" His voice was soft. He couldn't believe he was so upset about Snape dying but with the man in front of him, his emotions were raw.

"Do not worry yourself over the dead, Harry. We are all at peace, at least those of your concern."

"You didn't answer my question, could you have done something?" It was Snape's turn to let a tear roll down his face. Harry gave him a small smile and repeated the man's actions from before and caught it. "You don't have to answer me. I can only imagine what it was like for you. You do deserve peace. You, out of everyone I have ever met, deserve to have whatever it is you wish even if it is death." He couldn't look at the man any longer and dropped his eyes and let his chin fall to his chest. The two remained silent for a moment and Snape curled his finger around Harry's chin to lift his face.

"There are many things I could have done at various times that may have prevented this, but hindsight is always so crystal clear. I would never be able to outrun my past, Harry. And I would grow tired of trying."

"Couldn't I have known any of this before? Was all of that truly necessary?"

"I am most embarrassed to say that for a very long time, I held my grudge with your father against you. I didn't want to see you for who you were. However, to answer your question, no you couldn't know and yes it was necessary. My role was to protect you at all cost. For your safety and mine, no one could know my feelings for your mother and later, you."

"I would have tried harder to learn Occlumency!"

"It was something you didn't need to bear, Harry. There was already so much happening to you that it would have just added to it all."

"I could have used you in my corner."

"I _was_ in your corner. The entire time, I was your biggest supporter, even when I didn't want to be." Harry gave a smile.

"So you really loved my mother?"

"From the moment I met her." Harry let a few more tears fall from his face but kept the smile.

"What happens now?"

"Whatever you wish to happen. Certainly you could stay here with me and then spend eternity with your git of a Potions Master. Or you could go and live your life the way it was meant to. Without all the Voldemort nonsense. You can make your parents, and me, proud. Those that we love never truly leave us, so long as we keep them in our hearts." Harry gave a properly loud laugh.

"Now you sound like Sirius." Severus narrowed his eyebrows and Harry began to laugh even more.

"Do not compare me to that mangy mutt." As quickly as Severus scowled, he gave a real and true smile.

"I suppose I should finish what I started. The sooner I get back, the sooner you get your Order of Merlin, First Class. It was, after all, my fault you never received it." Harry gave Snape a wink and stood on unsteady feet. He felt an arm go around him and savored the touch before it left him quicker than Harry would have liked. It would be something he would have to look into later. He would have to reevaluate the man at great length, but he felt a strong pull from somewhere he couldn't decipher.

"Tell mum and everyone I love and miss them, won't you?" Snape nodded.

"They already know, but I shall reiterate the notion." Harry gave a laugh.

"I think I'm really going to miss you." And then something happened that Harry would wonder about for a very long time. Severus Snape stood before him with his arms outstretched in invitation for an embrace. Harry didn't need any time to decide what to do. He walked into the man's arms and closed his eyes. Even in death, the man smelled of the potions classroom; something of sandalwood, cinnamon and cloves. It was a scent and a feeling he would carry with him as he was suddenly aware of solid ground beneath him. He heard murmurs all around and at once he knew he was back in the Forbidden Forest. He kept completely still as the murmurs got louder and he heard words of encouragement to Voldemort. He then heard Voldemort's voice and he knew that he was going to be found out. He held his breath as he heard footsteps coming his way and then nearly jumped as the cold, delicate fingers reached into his shirt to his chest. When he heard Narcissa Malfoy's voice, he was relieved to know she was simply concerned for her son. As he was carried through the forest, his mind was working overtime on how he was going to get through what was about to happen.

Everything happened so fast, it would take numerous rounds in the pensieve to figure it out. Harry smiled as he remembered his words to Voldemort and the look of shock on the snakelike face as he told the creature of Snape's ultimate betrayal to the Dark. He repaired his own wand and took Hermione and Ron with him to place the Elder Wand back where it rightfully belonged. He left the pair with the rest of the Weasley's and took a walk alone. He didn't reveal to anyone anything of his 'conversation' with Snape after being hit with the killing curse. He told just enough of the man's memories to let everyone listening know the man was always working for the Light. Everything else he was keeping for himself. He stepped over various pieces of the castle and found himself wandering the dungeons. It didn't really surprise him since he couldn't keep Snape from his thoughts. He stood in front of a door he was sure he had never seen before. There was a portrait on front of the door, much like the one to get into Gryffindor Tower. In the portrait was a large doe that seemed to be watching him. It walked to the edge of the portrait, almost disappearing entirely.

"Wait, don't go!" The doe paused and then turned completely around to face him.

"I suppose there's some sort of password, isn't there? Well, it's rather obvious, I should think. Lily." The doe seemed to nod at once and Harry heard a soft click. He looked up and down the hallway to ensure he was still alone and walked through the opening. The door closed behind him and he heard another set of clicks. He looked around and found a warmly lit room. He walked to the fireplace and was surprised to find that it ignited when he stepped in front of it. He ran his hand over the mantel and smiled at the thought of the man that the room once belonged to. He crouched down to warm his hands when he heard a voice.

"It certainly took you long enough to make your way down here, though I'm impressed at how quickly you got the portrait to open." Harry turned at once to find a rather large portrait hung over the sofa. There were three benches situated in an arc at the front of the portrait with Snape standing just behind them. There was smoke flowing up from two of them. He was standing with his arms crossed at his chest, but a genuine smile on his face. Harry smiled in return.

"You look quite well in paint, sir."

"Cheeky brat."

"Shouldn't you be in the Headmaster's office? I mean, you were the Headmaster, afterall."

"Unfortunately, my way of leaving was not under the condition of having a portrait in the office. Therefore, I am at your disposal." Harry was going to have to get used to the man smiling. It was definitely something odd.

"Well, I suppose my fame should allow that to change. It's bound to be good for something, shouldn't it? It's certainly done nothing good for me."

"Do not go out of your way on my account, Harry. I presume Minerva wouldn't really care for my portrait in her office as it is."

"It's not going out of the way you foolish man. It's something you deserve, and it's something you will have. Now stop arguing with me before I cover you like we did Sirius' mother." The normal scowl was present and Harry gave a great laugh.

"It doesn't translate nearly as well in paint I suppose."

"Nope, not at all. It is close, though. Unsuspecting first years may still shake in fear, but I'm too well versed in your nuances. I've been on the receiving end of your normal scowl for the last six years." Severus smirked.

"I suppose that is true. Why did you come down here?"

"Why were you expecting me?"

"Touché. I suppose apologizing for the last years would be useless?" Harry nodded.

"For all that you've said against me to me face, I suppose I said worse behind your back. And for a lot longer. You had a job to do. I still wish things could have been different."

"There is a way they can be, now."

"You're dead. It's too late." Severus was surprised to see the hurt and sadness in the boy's eyes.

"It never really is too late for most things."

"How can you show so much care and concern? You're a portrait." He lowered his voice. "You're gone."

"Have you forgotten you are in the wizarding world?"

"I know very well where I am."

"How many times have you talked to Albus' portrait?"

"Just the once, I suppose."

"There are many types of portraits in our world, Harry. The only time you cannot have one of someone is if it is not made before they pass. My particular portrait is one of Albus' creation. The entirety of my life force was placed into the portrait. I have my memories and my feelings intact." Harry gave him a smile.

"I suppose it's more than I have of my parents. So can you move from here to anywhere else in the castle?"

"If I were to have a portrait in the Headmaster's office, then yes. Otherwise, I can only be in my own frame." Harry nodded in thought. He knew he needed to get the man his proper accolades. It seemed to matter more to Harry than Snape, but Harry didn't mind. Harry sat on the sofa in silence. He sat with his back against the arm of the couch and his hand supporting his head on the back of it. His eyes were unfocused, and Severus let him be. A few moments went by and Harry's eyes drooped completely. The boy had fallen asleep in his awkward position.

"Devlin." Severus voice was soft and amused. A house elf popped softly into existence.

"Yes Master Severus. What do you require of Devlin?"

"Please take Harry to my room. And then bring my portrait in there. I believe over the fireplace will do."

"Of course Master." With a snap of the elf's fingers, Harry was levitated and placed into a large bed and tucked under the blankets. Another snap and Severus was in his place over the fireplace.

"Do remove the boy's glasses. I think one torch should be sufficient to leave lit." The elf did Severus' bidding and with a nod from the man, the elf popped back out again. As Severus watched the boy sleeping, he wondered if Harry told anyone where he was heading. He received his answer two hours after the boy fell asleep.

"Where…how…What am I doing here?" Harry was sitting up in bed rubbing his eyes.

"I had Devlin bring you in here. You fell asleep in a most uncomfortable position. I suspect you needed the rest." Harry simply nodded.

"Devlin would be a house elf I suppose?"

"He is. I am surprised your friends have not come and blasted the door down." He really hoped they weren't gone, but he was sure he boy would have led with losing his dearest friends.

"Oh, Merlin. I should go and tell them where I am, shouldn't I?" The signature eyebrow lift graced his face.

"You mean they have no idea where you are?" Harry shook his head.

"I can't look at them. So much death. I just wanted to be alone. It's only going to be worse now that Voldemort is gone. I'll never get a moments peace. I never got it before, so I shouldn't expect it now. Can't I just stay here?" Severus smiled at him.

"You may stay here as long as you wish. No one can come in unless you let them."

"Me? What about Professor McGonagall? I figure she's the Headmistress now."

"Not even her. Albus should tell her what my last wishes were."

"And what were your last wishes?"

"First, I would like you to send your patronus to your friends to let them know you are well. You know how to do that, correct?" Harry nodded. He pulled his wand and waved it, sending the message along with the spectral stag. Severus pointed to the desk in the corner. "Now then. Go to the desk and open the second drawer on your right." Harry did as he was told and pulled up a key.

"A key?"

"Patience. Take the key and open the wardrobe. Pull out the second drawer completely and reach into the back. Pull out the box and set it on the desk." Harry raised his eyebrow in a good imitation, but followed the instructions. He found a box that resembled what could only have been a jewelry box. He raised his eyebrows at Severus and smirked.

"I didn't take you for that sort."

"Watch your mouth, brat. Now open the third drawer on your left. Reach to the very back and push the button on the right hand side." Harry shook his head, but continued on. Once he pushed the button, a flap on the wall on the left side of the fireplace opened. Harry stood and reached in and pulled out another key.

"Does this actually open the box, or do I have to take it to the greenhouses for another box?" Severus rolled his eyes.

"Open the box, insufferable." Harry smiled at the man and opened the box. There were rolls of parchment. Harry looked up with questioning eyes and Severus just stared at him. Harry stared a moment longer and began to systematically unroll and read them. Each roll was as surprising as the next, but he couldn't stop. He waited until he read each and every one of them and fully understood them.

"Why…Why would you do all of this?" He sat down on the edge of the bed with his head down, but his eyes were looking straight into the portrait's.

"There are many reasons. It started as one thing and then turned into another. I felt guilty for how I treated you. Especially your fifth year. After Sirius died, I took a long look back at myself and I was appalled. I told myself I needed to look at you for yourself, not for who your parents were. It was always so easy to see your father in you that I failed to see Lily, and I failed to see you. I knew you were there on the Astronomy Tower that night. I wanted desperately to tell you to trust in me, to have faith. I knew I never could. There wasn't time nor opportunity. I had to play my role and I couldn't be found out. Especially after Albus was gone. I continued to think our past through and I was so broken over it all. I had so many opportunities to do right by you, but I could only continue to do so silently."

"What about in the Forest of Dean?" Severus nodded.

"I wanted to reach out to you. I had to sit by and watch the whole thing. If Mr. Weasley hadn't shown, I would have revealed myself. I would not have let you die, I could not. As I watched you that last year, I began to see you in a different light. I am a very private man by nature, Harry. I lost all I had when I lost your mother. I knew I could never love another. My life as a spy would never allow me a family even if I could. You are the closest thing to a son I could ever fathom. I want you to have a place you could call your own, no matter what you choose to do in life."

"But sir, I can't really accept all of this."

"There's no matter of accepting, Harry. It is done. My manor, everything in my vaults; it is all yours. These very quarters if you so decided to stay and teach Defense. And I think it is time you call me Severus." Harry's eyebrows shot to his hairline.

"Well that will sure take some getting used to. I guess I should head off Ron and Hermione before they try and break down the door. I will return before I decide where I'm going." Severus nodded.

"I will see you when you return." Harry went to the door and took one last look back. He gave Severus a smile and went into the main room and into the hall. He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes.

So much had changed in so little time. They had been going nonstop from the moment they decided to come to Hogwarts. Now that he had actual time to stop and think, he was exhausted and confused and couldn't understand how any of it happened. He couldn't fathom how he was able to find all of the horcruxes and then manage to destroy them. He couldn't really understand how everything was able to fall into place so seamlessly. All of a sudden the weight of the entire situation; the deaths of his friends and those he didn't know weighed heavily on his heart. He sank to the floor and put his head on his knees and began to cry. For the first time in his life, he felt much younger than he ever had. He had always longed for someone to take care of him, and now there was no one. He was seventeen, and he simply felt that he was a little boy that just woke up from a bad dream. At that moment, he simply wanted to be held and comforted, but there was no one that could do that for him anymore. He was totally alone, and nothing would change that. He wasn't sure how long he was sitting on the floor of the dungeons, but he suddenly felt that he was no longer by himself. He felt a warm body beside him and a part of him wished they weren't there. He wanted to get through his own feelings alone, but he knew he would have to face everyone eventually. A voice brought him out of his thoughts.

"Why are you down here alone?" It was Hermione.

"I just needed to get away. I still want to be alone, but I guess I need to face the masses."

"Harry, don't shut us out. We were there, too. All of us. It's over now. We can start over and be anything we want." She stood and held her hand out for him. He looked up and gave her a small smile and allowed her help. She just couldn't understand. Later, he wouldn't be able to remember how he made it to the Great Hall, and he wouldn't be able to count the number of people who clapped him on the back and thanked him. All he knew was he wanted to disappear for the rest of his life. He found McGonagall in the crowd and she gave him a rare, genuine smile and a nod of understanding.

It felt like days later when all was said and done. He was able to give condolences to those that required them, they set up funeral services for those appropriate and they even began to clean the castle. McGonagall ushered Harry aside.

"Harry. I can call you Harry, correct?" He nodded. "Harry, I can only image how you are feeling. I've spoken to Albus and we will ensure that Severus gets what is coming his way. He more than deserves it. His portrait will be hung with the rest of the previous Headmasters, I will make sure of it. You should take some time to yourself and sort things out, but be sure to not push anyone away. We all lost something in this war. The important thing is to remember what we all still have. Tell them you need time and take it, Harry. You've done more than your fair share." He gave her a tentative smile and nodded.

"I don't think they'll entirely understand it, but I suppose telling them is better than just disappearing."

"That would be the last thing they would need, Harry. You will at least attend the funerals, correct?"

"Of course. But after that, I can't make any promises. You'll know where to find me though, right?" She nodded.

"I do. It is a strange thing for me to think of, but I am pleased. I wish you two could have found each other much sooner, but I suppose it's better late than never. I will see you in two days, Harry." She put her arm around his shoulder in a one-armed hug and let him go. He wanted to help repair the castle and to be with everyone else, but he couldn't make himself actually do anything about it. Without a backwards glance, he walked toward what was left of the Entrance Hall and back into the dungeons. He wanted a shower and a nice long sleep and he knew if he went anywhere else he couldn't be alone.

When he was safely ensconced in Snape's quarters, he threw his tie on the desk and threw himself to the couch.

"I'm fairly certain I will never attend another funeral ever again."

"And what of your own?"

"You always have an answer, don't you?"

"I try to keep them written down for reference. Was it that bad?"

"No, it was marvelous. I only had to bury the closest thing to a father I had after Sirius, one of my best friend's brothers, countless classmates, don't even get me started on finding your body. The things people were saying; did you really set out to anger everyone you ever met?" He pulled a pillow over his face.

"It was not my main aim, but a happy accident." An instant later the pillow was thrown at the portrait.

"I don't find any of this amusing. It was terrible! I silenced the lot of them after three or four. And only then I had to get out of Hermione's grasp. They're lucky I didn't hex them. No one would listen to a word I had said."

"I told you it would be that way, did I not?"

"How can you know what we talked about? Weren't you dead?"

"I believe you may have been as well."

"Oh, so very clever. How can it be the only person to understand me is dead, and that it's you?"

"How can it be that you placed your trust in me so easily after only seeing a few mere memories?" Harry snapped his head up and turned to face the portrait.

"What are you implying?"

"I was merely asking a question, Harry."

"So you think like they do. That I am too overly emotional and distraught? That I cannot think properly for myself and see you for who you really were all that time? That there must be something wrong with me because I can look past six years of hatred and points taken and terrible words? Doesn't anyone else see what I see? That you had to be a certain way to survive?" Harry was on his feet and running his hands through his hair violently.

"Harry, calm down. It has never mattered to me what others think. It shouldn't matter to you. Especially now. My life is over."

"That is precisely why it should matter! It should matter more now! You died a hero's death, and all they can do is condemn you! You had to kill your mentor, and have everyone believe you were against the very organization you fought with. I saw the look in your eyes that night. I thought it was hatred. You were defeated. Even as you were running back through the castle to save Malfoy; while you were fighting against me. How could no one see that you never fought against us, you only defended yourself? That night I came back into the castle, you never once sent a spell. You set up shields until you could properly leave." Harry leaned against the wall and slid down it, his head in his hands.

"Is there anything I can say to make this better for you? You cannot control the way people think or feel. I have told you, what matters to me is how you think; how you feel."

"I need to deal with this myself, I suppose."

"Why don't you go to my Manor? It'll get you out of the castle and away from everything. It's somewhere new, but I think you need the change."

"What about you?"

"I'll be here when you return." Harry stood up slowly and looked at the man in the portrait. He felt cheated to never have actual met that man, and even more he felt guilty that he never met the man that protected him with his life for the last seven years.

"I won't be gone long. I don't feel right leaving you behind." He wasn't sure what changed in him, but he swore he would always be honest with the man.

"Take your time, Harry. The floo powder is on the mantel." Harry took one last look at the portrait, gave the man within a smile and left for the fireplace.

For once, Harry stepped through the fireplace without falling flat on his face. He walked out with a grace he would forever equate with Severus Snape. He looked around the room he floo into and it made him smile to know that it was just the same as the room he left. The only difference was the size. The room was much larger than the one in the dungeons of Hogwarts, and there were floor to ceiling built-in bookshelves lining every wall. He stepped through the room into the doorway and followed the hall along. There were various rooms, most of which were furnished. He found a couple bedrooms and a washroom. He made his way upstairs and found a few more bedrooms, the master suite and a study. He walked back down and found the kitchen and dining room, and then a door. He knew where the door would lead, but he stepped down the stairs anyway. Just as he suspected, a well-stocked potions lab was before him. Everything was how he imagined it would be if Snape were still there. The tables and cauldrons were in pristine condition, the vials and tools were all meticulously labeled. He ran his hands over the tables and imagined Snape sniping at him for touching his things. He closed his eyes and smiled as he played over some of the words the man had said to him over the years.

"Do keep your hands to yourself; there is simply no telling where they have been. You _are_ a Potter, after all." Harry stopped his movements instantly and slowly opened his eyes. He failed to see the portrait frame when he first walked in, and he was kicking himself for it. A smile graced his lips. He wasn't really looking forward to going back to Hogwarts so soon, but would have so Snape's portrait wouldn't be there alone. He turned.

"You know, I can get my Potter germs all over your stuff now and there's nothing you can do about it."

"You are insufferable, you know that?" Harry looked around the room.

"I think this room could be better suited if all of this junk were out of the way."

"You wouldn't dare!"

"Wouldn't I?" Harry gave a smirk and sat on a stool.

"I do wish things could have been different. It would have made my last few years much more pleasant." Severus gave a smile.

"Well, now you get to make up for that for as long as I don't burn your portrait." Harry smirked as Severus crossed his arms at his chest.

"Your threats could use some work. So you intend to accept after all?"

"With you here, how can I not?" A genuine smile graced both of their faces.

"I can move to any portrait in the place, so do not feel you need linger."

"I think you just don't want me near your precious lab."

"I absolutely do not want to witness the massacre that may ensue with you around so many dangerous things." Harry smiled and walked from the room and back into the study. He found Snape already awaiting him. At that moment he knew what to do with the rest of his life.

"You know, I wonder how long it will take people to adjust to their Defense professor to have their quarters in the dungeon."


End file.
